With 2009 receeding to a distant dot in the rear-view mirror of life, I wanted to take a moment to record my favourite tweets of the past year. I think it’s particularly important to preserve them for posterity, as I read somewhere that Twitter don’t store tweets indefinitely. I guess those 140 characters or less soon add up. It would be criminal for these perfectly formed vignette-lets to be lost to future generations, particularly as three of them are from my own fair keyboard.
Without further ceremony, here are the winners in reverse chronological order:
On Technology
- @diveintomark
Google Wave is a great tool for collaborating with people. Unfortunately, it turns out I don't actually like people.
1:02 AM Nov 25th, 2009 - @dhh
Always leave code in a better condition than you found it.
6:18 PM Nov 20th, 2009 - @shauninman
sitting in front of a computer you can always find something that doesn't need doing to do.
1:27 PM Oct 30th, 2009 - @rbates
Programming is the art of forcing the exceptions of the real world into the absolutes of a computer.
12:43 AM Oct 20th, 2009 - @defunkt
`git log | grep oops | wc -l` => 54
9:31 AM Oct 7th, 2009 - @ianfnelson
I hereby decree that henceforth the word "functionality" shall be abbreviated to f11y. That is all.
9:26 AM Oct 1st, 2009 - @jasonfried
Which'll be more annoying? Augmented reality phone-in-the-air zombie wanderers or the reigning champ: bluetooth talkers?
3:33 PM Aug 14th, 2009 - @jasonfried
Bells and whistles are software jewelry. Most software looks like Mr. T.
6:41 PM Jul 9th, 2009 - @meyerweb
Error 4:04am (Sleep Not Found)
9:16 AM May 29th, 2009 - @topley
Never mind Convention over Configuration, J2EE is Configuration over getting any f***ing work done.
12:18 PM May 20th, 2009 - @jamis
Never add an option when an opinion will suffice.
3:36 PM May 9th, 2009
Anything Goes
- @fodwyer
ƃuoɹʍ ʇsnɾ sı sıɥʇ
11:18 PM Nov 28th, 2009 - @wilshipley
Ị̣̣̣'ṃ ḍ̣̣ṛ̣ipp̣ing̣̣̣ wẹ̣t.̣
9:24 AM Nov 12th, 2009 - @topley
Imagine if we still made things in the UK: "Designed by British Leyland in the West Midlands".
9:08 PM Nov 9th, 2009
With Humour
- @serafinowicz
Abbreviation is short for 'antibrevitudinalisation'
4:17 PM Dec 3rd, 2009 - @serafinowicz
For dogs, peeing on trees is like their Internet.
5:03 PM Nov 24th, 2009 - @serafinowicz
do they have hamburgers and french fries in England? (via @bearsurprise) Yes, we call them Beef-Discs and Potato Jenga®
4:36 AM Nov 12th, 2009 - @serafinowicz
Take it from me: don't buy a used memory foam mattress.
8:56 PM Oct 24th, 2009 - @serafinowicz
I love the Earth. It means the world to me.
4:42 AM Oct 24th, 2009 - @serafinowicz
Most modern tartans are now 3-D.
11:50 PM Oct 21st, 2009 - @serafinowicz
Cherub (n): What Sonny Bono used to receive after a long day.
1:26 AM Oct 19th, 2009 - @serafinowicz
Jay-Z has built a robot that corrects his mistakes, named CONTROL-Z
4:45 AM Oct 10th, 2009 - @serafinowicz
Who would be your dream dinner party guests, living or dead? I'd choose living.
9:50 PM Oct 7th, 2009 - @serafinowicz
Trying to come up with a concept for an internal hat. I can't get my head around it.
12:33 PM Sep 30th, 2009 - @serafinowicz
How I remember decades: "In the Nineties, I had nine ties."
12:24 AM Sep 6th, 2009 - @serafinowicz
Bumped into two people from Mercury today. Small world.
8:04 PM Sep 3rd, 2009 - @darthvader
"Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise." Kenobi always was a sarcastic bastard.
4:22 AM Aug 22nd, 2009 - @serafinowicz
To become a minicab driver in London, one has to pass a test called The Ignorance.
8:13 AM Aug 8th, 2009 - @serafinowicz
"That's another small step for man; another giant leap for mankind" Buzz Aldrin, 1969
6:46 PM Jul 21st, 2009 - @serafinowicz
If all the veins in your body were laid out in a straight line, you would die.
8:12 AM Jul 21st, 2009 - @serafinowicz
Ants often mistake boxes of raisins for retirement homes.
3:25 AM Jul 15th, 2009 - @johnmoe
You're gonna need a smaller shark. #1stdraftmovielines #latetotheparty
7:53 PM Jul 11th, 2009 - @darthvader
Watching MJ's funeral reminded me I wanna go out in style. I better not end up cremated on some stupid moon surrounded by teddy bears.
5:01 PM Jul 10th, 2009 - @serafinowicz
Anyone know where I can find transcripts of audiobooks?
8:36 PM Jul 2nd, 2009 - @topley
Henceforth Teflon Coated Managers will be known as Oleophobic Managers.
11:40 AM Jul 1st, 2009 - @serafinowicz
The Earth's Crust - it's the best bit!
3:18 PM May 21st, 2009 - @serafinowicz
Don't buy the Kindle Printer!! It's expensive, wasteful and above all cumbersome.
3:00 PM May 20th, 2009 - @serafinowicz
When I look up at the night sky and think about the billions of stars out there, I think to myself: I'm amazing.
12:36 AM May 8th, 2009 - @darthvader
The bad news is we had to let go of about 8,000 clone troopers today. The good news is it really only counts as 1.
3:49 AM Jan 27th, 2009
2003–2010 John Topley