John Topley’s Weblog

In order to be considered for the prestigious E-Mail Of The Year award, correspondents have to demonstrate a mastery of the English language that verges on childlike, a flair for getting straight to the point without any of those social niceties like introductions, but most of all, the point that they’re getting to has to be so off-wack as to leave me paralysed with incredulity and completely incapable of replying to them.

This year there are two nominations for the award, but they’re both winning entries in my eyes. The judges found it very hard to separate them. Interestingly, both e-mails were received in response to posts I’d made on the Joel on Software Forum, so I really must post there more often next year. So without further ado, let’s take a look at the nominations.

shanmugam e-mailed me with the haunting and delicate:

Sir how I install pirates of Win XP sp2

—The judges were particularly impressed by the avant garde abandonment of punctation in this sentence and by the frugal structure. I liked the ambiguity implied by the use of the word “pirates”.

williams martins e-mailed me with this:

hi,
i will like to buy this item and i will pay u via paypal, and i will like to buy up to 20 pieces. let me know the total amount to pay so that i can send u the card.

—Regular readers will know that I’m a sucker for replacing the difficult to spell and type “you” with “u”. I also find all lower case text to be outstandingly stylish. However, what really caught the judges’ attention with this entry was its context:

RAM - 1GB over 512MB?

Hi All,
I am planning to upgrade my PC.
I have selected Athlon XP Processor and an ASUS Motherboard.
The only thing right now I am stuck is how much RAM to go for?

I have already ordered 512MB RAM.
I was wondering if adding another 512 MB RAM will give me enough bang for my bucks or not?

I am planning to use comp for Photoshop, Web app development in PHP,MySQL.
and most importantly, I am studying .NET currently (heavy use of VS.NET in coming days!!)

So what you suggest? Shall I go in for 1 GIG RAM?

Your suggestions are appreciated!
Regards,
JD

If you can afford it, then why not?

John Topley

hi,
i will like to buy this item and i will pay u via paypal, and i will like to buy up to 20 pieces. let me know the total amount to pay so that i can send u the card.

—Did you see what happened there?! williams managed to take the conversation to an entirely different level, using a manoeuvre through spacetime so complex that even Stephen Hawkings would struggle to keep up. It’s unanimous: the E-Mail Of The Year award is yours, williams martins! Well done.